Sleeping at work is fun, exciting and, really, a good sport. Its challenging for me because I'm sitting on the corner of a high traffic area. So I gotta have something on my screen doing stuff while I sleep. Now I can't say I've perfected typing while dreaming, but I'm getting there.

Here are some quotes of things I typed with eyes closed, me being mainly asleep and translations underneath:
-thihs right here is why I love cotz
this right here is why I love ctrl-z
ed. note: ctrl-z is the undo command in Microsoft Excell

-It toally ules4reeeeeeeeeeeenkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmk kkkkkkkkkkkkkk\\I think I need to fid a way to fake working so that I don''e to keep my head u
it totally rules. I think I need to find a way to fake working so that I don't need to keep my head up.
ed. note: I completely passed out and did some keyboard mashing on this one.

-I wond'er were the caroons are beinng aired. It kinda l ooks lie Never endstoroy]]
I wonder where the cartoons are being aired? It kinda look like Never Ending Story.
ed. note: I was dreaming of cartoons that I thought were being projected onto the wall. Or reflected. Or something. Really, it was just synapses misfiring.

And there you have it folks, this is what I do when I'm at work. Well, this and read Something Positive.

Oh, and kick kittens of course. Gotta bring the BOOT!!.

- posted by Pat @ 1:11 PM

 
I'm gonna be in DC for the next couple of weeks now. I just picked up some development work. This will be the test of if I actually enjoy my work, or if I start looking for a way to get out my contract. Hopefully, I'll enjoy it and be able to live this consultant life for awhile, otherwise, back to the unemployment line. Less my contract buyout.

I was in Champaign last weekend for an Underwater Hockey tournament. I still have some skills. Not many, but I do still have my breakaway talent. See puck. See convient hole. Swim like crazy. Of course, I couldn't finish off either of my sweet, sweet breakaways because I'm slow and have no stamina, but they both turned into goals. Good teammates backing me up. I also ran into Patrick down there at a party. It was totally random and fun. I totally didn't call him saturday night because the party we were going to meet up at got busted by cops and it was totally lame by the time I got there. Totally.

I did get to catch Paul Cronin's set, even though his orignal directions were horribly incorrect. It was a good set. I rocked. They traded instruments some. It was smoother than that usually works. Good show Paul, and if you have a website or songs or SOMETHING toss 'em in the comments. Share the love.

I've been keeping to myself this week at work. Mainly because I've been in a rotten mood and don't really feel like sharing it, but also because I'm in a different, totally awful hotel that doesn't have frying pans for me to ruin. Otherwise I was gonna try to pan fry something else foolishly. Luckily, I'm moving back to the original place next week and the pan destruction will occur again.

My kitty kicking count is down lately. It seems the word has spread through the kitten community that I'm one bad mother. Apparently I'm going to have to work on my ninja stealth techniques some and then get down to some seriously crazy flip kitten kicking.

Its gonna rule.
- posted by Pat @ 9:41 PM

 
I hit the driving range on Monday. Golf is not a sport. Highly entertaining video game? Yes. Sport? No. I thought it was for awhile, but its a sport like billiards is a sport. Keep it smooth, keep it consistent. There is no battle except between you and your back. Blech to that. Of course, I did hurt myself. But I am the old man, so its fitting.

Another notch in my "Doing Horrible Things to Kitchens and Kitchen Related Implements(like pans)" belt:
I attempted to fry peanut butter. Useful note at this point: peanut butter melts when you heat it. In a manner quite similar to butter sans peanuts. So tossing a lump of peanut butter onto a pan is a real good way to coat a pan with peanut butter. However, buttering up some bagels, tossing those on first and then attempting to FRY the bagel when the peanut butter is on said bagel is a real good way to make sad little piles of melty peanut butter in said pan.

In concluscion: I have generated yet another reason for me to never be allowed in a kitchen and I am deeply afraid of that pan. I haven't cleaned it out yet. Its just sitting there. Lurking. I'm hoping the peanut butter acheives life and just leaves of its own accord. Also, I hope the now-living peanut butter doesn't attempt to forge some kind of super freaky father/son or creator/creation bond with me. I'm, you know, not ready to raise a peanut based lifeform at the moment. But in ten years, I'll sure as fuck be ready to go and kick this peanut based lifeform's ass all over the place when it tries to take over, shit, what's a real wussy town? Dallas? Phildelphia? One of 'em.

I will come bearing jelly, bread and a dull knife. My creation will recoil in horror and will also make for a tasty afternoon snack. Possibly a snack for months to come, but always tasty.

I continue to drink alone both in my room and at O'Malley's(super awful hotel bar). Its a good life. And I think I'm living in a box next week, I'll keep you updated on that.
- posted by Pat @ 4:05 PM

 
I just hopped out of the shower. No, really. I'm dripping on the keyboard and have no pants on. The no pants is good, but not primary to me being here.

I feel good. Not in a, "hey good joke Mr. TV that fritzs out every 3 seconds." Or good as in, "hell yeah fantasy baseball league, I DIDN'T drop 5 places two nights in a row." Good as in, "hey, maybe my life isn't totally awful like I've been thinking." Its all from the awesomest weekend ever I just had. Hanging with one Joseph Hanauer of high school fame. He lives out here in the DC area. Actually, he lives in a town called "Rockville". I will live there someday just to say I have.

I did a lot of drinking. It was tasty, perfectly timed and asskickful.

I was in a rut in Chicago. Same thing, all the time. I think I know how to get out of this rut, and it involves a number of things. First on the list is that I hate living in hotels. To get around that I need to quit my job and move to San Diego OR get an apartment wherever I'm stationed. We shall see. One nonpossible option is staying with the rents. Sorry, that's gotta go. I don't think I can ever do anything remotely as awesome as what happened this weekend living with them. Not because what I was doing was bad, but because I need to not be in Beverly. Next on the list is find new places to drink and actually meet people there.

After that, profit.

Also, I'm 23. It was last tuesday. Don't feel bad, I didn't tell anyone else either.

And now I'm a gonna shave and then go parade this awesome mood around down at the horribly depressing hotel bar. Sometimes, I'm real retarded.

Okay, most of the time.
- posted by Pat @ 9:15 PM

 
I've realized a couple of things in the past day:
-I need to move out. My parents do rule, but its just time.
-I need to read Ishmael. Its been messing with my head. Apparently my lashing out at Koby for his evangelizing was because I don't want to completely change how I view the world, dammit. I'm happy in my ignorance.
-I am the rookie. I forgot to pack my dress shoes as I was heading out the door to DC. Major thanks to Kenres Paul for coming through on the shoe loan.
-I need to not dress in the dark. Because pants that were once brown? Now, in light, are greenish. A shirt that was blue? Now very green. Its not blue-green, just plain green. Or maybe I'm just colorblind in the mornings. Because, well, I look like ass most of the time. But its not everyday you get to walk into work, look at your pants and remark to your co-worker, "These are the ugliest pants I've ever seen." Oh, except I do, because I'm out here for two weeks and have two pairs of dress pants. God love the consultant lifestlye.

In other news, I am about to begin industry domination. It starts next month.
- posted by Pat @ 9:44 AM

 
It was a good weekend. Saw some awesome live music. Spent more money than I should have. Picked up some awesome music and kicked like three kittens. One of them was Haji's, one was Grace's and one was yours.

Friday: Got back from DC, went to some bar up by The Metro with Koby. We talked baseball for a bit, then he profesized for an extended period of time. We're talking like 2 hours here. It was good stuff, but after I start referring to you as an evangelist I've probably stopped caring. And, in fact, I had. For although this Quinn guy sounds really interesting and obviously makes Koby think, he's also a communist so fuck it if I care when I'm getting tossed. Okay, so he's not a communist, he's something else. Go read Ishmael, its about a monkey, saving the world and a totally broke student. Have fun and maybe Koby will talk about it later.

Squarepusher: totally rad. He played his bass. He kinda hid the whole time behind his setup, but that's fine when you can play bass like that. Its similar to how people still went to go see Van Morrison live even though he played behind a brick wall on stage. Human orchestra was impressive, but beatbox, no matter how good, does not translate well onto a CD. Its just one dude, he wows me because I can see him throwing down right there. Its not impressive when I can do the same thing on my Casio Keyboard. Cassette doesn't deserve to exist. Also, I never need to see two skeletons in masks looking like Bush and Blair carrying on some kind of Homo-erotic intrepretive dance set to the propoganda of the underground. Its just not fucking needed.

I picked up The Soundtrack of our Lives. Its some kind of swedish band. Its easy going at points but they do know how to rock. Its a good mix. But I have no idea who told me about these guys. I would like to remember who told me so I can give proper thanks. Also, I picked up The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. I haven't listened to it yet, but I know its good. I've heard like two tracks of his before.

And here's a link from this guy. Its Easter related and amazing. Or awesome. I'll let you be the judge of that.
- posted by Pat @ 3:02 PM

 
To all you jerkholes, I think it was Haji, who didn't believe me, here's the SECOND Spider Man 2 Trailer. I haven't watched it yet, as I'm at work, but I did see the first one, and Doc Oc kicks some serious ass.

And uh, yeah, ya'll got AIDS.
- posted by Pat @ 8:22 AM

 
Okie, so I probably should have said something about this on Monday, or Tuesday. But I'm in the DC area now. The Dulles/Sterling area to be specific. There sure is NOTHING out here. Its totally awful. But hey, at least I got my ass handed to me by the boss in Soul Caliber the arcade game. He beat me 3 straight times. Totally sad on my part. But at least I have a reason to save my quarters from now on.

Work is crazy. Hello 11 hour days. I told you all it was coming, and now here it is. Making up for all that time I spent doing nothing. Blah.

Well, I don't really have anything to say except I'm watching pokemon and hanging out online. Yeup, I'm a big dork. Even by myself.
- posted by Pat @ 8:45 PM

 
Baseball has arrived. I'll be going up to the bar again by myself for the White Sox opener, but that's okay. Its at 2 in the afternoon. Yeah, I just said its better to go to the bar alone in the afternoon then at night. I'm a messed up child. But that's okay, because its baseball and it was past fucking due for this to begin. I feel good about the ChiSox, I feel even better that the Cubs will find a way to ruin their season. I feel very strongly about this: the Cubs will fuck up.

Friday I got hammered and was in bed by 12.15 pm. There are just some nights where something tells me to go home. I usually ignore that and keep drinking. I always regret it. So I went home this time. Next time, I'm staying out. Because I need more material to write on, and me having an awful night is always good for some laughs.

Saturday was my high school reunion. Hello creepy people. Oh, are you still an ass? Cool. Hey, I remember you, oh wait, you're an ass now? Ahh, cool. I sure am glad NONE OF MY FUCKING FRIENDS ARE HERE. Thanks Joe, Paul, Mike, John and about 20 other people who I could have quite easily talked to all night. But, they were smart and did not show up. I wish I was smart. I did run into some cool people, and that was good. But for the most part it was awful. We're talking 5 hours of awful. And I'm not even totally sure why, but I think its because the people who were socially inept in high school but who I liked an intense amount, are still just as socially inept, but they seem to have forgotten it. So the trip to the bar with these people afterwards? Yeah, painfully painful. I was actually trying to figure out a way to hide in my hat. Although Newman was there, and he is cool, he was also incomprehensibly drunk and asleep. Not much use there.

Sunday was the usual trip to Crossing and the Coffeeshop. Haji and Koby were there. So we got down with the coffee that has cocaine as a major additive and the three way palace. And it was good. And no, I didn't go to work today. So yes, that's 5 days in a row, including the weekend, that I have not gone into work. I'm really starting to dig this job.
- posted by Pat @ 1:05 PM

 
Gorgeous. Is it portraying a woman as an object? Somewhat, her clothes are obviously designed for displaying her figure and drawing the eye to her exposed midrif. But also, she is, well, sad or tired. I can't really tell. But I do know I want to find out and try to help somehow. Either get her a coffee, tell a joke or something. While that may reinforce a negative stereotype of women as weak and needing the help of men, I don't care. I feel rather confident that this girl will bounce back, and when I'm down, she'll pull me up.

And yes, I think the same kind of things about REAL girls too. But, when I see a drawing that good and it makes me do nothing but stare, well, I felt I should stare. Because hey, everybody loves pretty pictures.

Talked to my sister Kayte last night. She's also O positive. She's feeling a lot like me right now, surpise, surprise. I still think I've got the inside track on winning the "Kidney Donation Drive" for my uncle, but I've got some competition. There has got to be some kind of way I can get an unfair advantage in this race.

New CDs:
Black Eyed Peas - Elephunk. Yes, its been out for a while. Its still exceptional. A refreshing blend of R&B, funk and reggae at the moment. Odd, Reggae? Okay, it works. Will-I-Am is a dude I like a whole lot and I was not aware he was in this band until after I bought it. So hey, bonus for me.
The Darkness - new English band. I haven't listened to the CD yet, nor do I know what its called. I suggest talking to just about anyone to get a read on this album. Most people call it awesome. They're the summer's new band.
John Mayer - Heavier Things. Hey, I likie the slow stuff. Its got guitars, and some softish vocals and I can chill out listening to it. This guy is also all over the radio right now. No longer do I have to hunt for his single, for now I own it.

And now, a day of video games and carbonated beverages that I will not be enjoying intraveneously. Only the video games get mainlined. The pop gets snorted. But, its not like I can help it when I'm attempting to breathe and my can of pop decideds that NOW is a good time to discharge all the carbonation at once.

Fucking pop. Oh how I loathe you.
- posted by Pat @ 9:21 AM