I totally have the best life ever.

I met a totally awesome girl last night. I have no idea how, really. Andy and I got to the party late, we made an overly grand and somewhat drunken entrance, then parked in the corner of the room while the drunken jenga game continued. Hostess made some comment about how everyone there was a couple, except me and this girl.

!!

So I wave from across the room and introduce myself. She stares at me. She puts her head down and says nothing.



This was a BRUTAL reminder of why I am, in fact single.

At this point, Andy rated my chances of getting her number at around a bijillion to one. I agreed. We then commenced the boozing. We had a 30 pack of PBR and 4 hours to drink. We have goals!

We played the drunken jenga. We built the beeramid. Host's youngest sister ran around the house with her friend swiping Mike's. I ended up chatting with this girl and found out that she had spent a large amount of time attempting to SPELL HER NAME WITH PERIODIC SYMBOLS!!

This girl is rad as hell.

We chatted about science. I blamed her sexiness for me ending up with a Texas Shooter worth of jagermeister. And then I think I blamed her for my drinking of it. Something about I just wanted to talk to her. We got her CDs from her car. Talked about death cab. I listened to her sing. I think we held hands.

I got her number and then I kissed her.

It was totally awesome.

Then Andy and I walked home. Host had given me a harmonica for undisclosed reasons, and I played it very, very poorly all the way home. It worked out well.

But, we were late because we were hanging with the Primozic's at one of the bar things I've heard of. We told boozy stories from our youth. We caught up. We drank a bunch.

And, my uncle has a new Kidney! He's getting out of the hospital today or yesterday or tomorrow. It depends on the monitoring.

So even though I hate my bosses, and I took work related phone calls WHILE CARVING TURKEYS, I didn't sleep at all this break and I literally logged 3000 hours a day, my life is absolutely awesome. And to say otherwise, is 'Sofa-king, we-tard-ed.'
- posted by Pat @ 3:47 PM

 
You know you're on your way out from a project when all you start doing is documentation. The theory is, that you'll leave behind all of your client/project specific knowledge so that someone can just pick it up later.

Fine. Good plan.

The downside? No matter how well I write this shit, its not gonna be the immediate knowledge transfer boss-man thinks it will be. And, I AM BORED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND. If I had WANTED to fucking WRITE for a GODDAMNED LIVING I would have been a freaking ENGLISH MAJOR. Or creative writing. OR SOMETHING THAT WASN'T FUCKING COMPUTER-GODDAMNED-ENGINEERING.

I am, as you can read, somewhat pissed about this. I don't like to use caps that much; I feel they lose their "flavor." But I really need to properly emphasize how bored and hateful I am. I mean, require I do this stuff all along? Okay. Done. That's not a problem when its done along the way. But making sure I have so much work that I have no hope of doing this documentation along the way just to give me AN ENTIRE FUCKING MONTH of tech writing? Fuck that noise man.

Fuck it.

There's a song by famed Japanese songwriter Yoko Kanno called Be Human. The entire song is written from the eyes of a sentient crime-fighting robot who desires to be a human. I am, in fact, listenting to it now and its doing a wonderful job of calming me down. But the reason I'm bringing it up are these: to reming all of you how awesome Yoko Kanno's work is, and to rattle off one of the lines from the song.

I would have so many little babies
And maybe a wife.
- posted by Pat @ 2:48 PM

 
First post!

...of November.

Sorry I've been so lax in posting. I've been working ALL THE GODDAMNED DAY. No, really. I have been DREAMING of lighting myself on fire. Because that's about what my job boils down to these days. One upshot, is that my bosses have figured out a way to make me an effective manager of others: don't ever give me any time to think about it at all. Just pile so much fucking work on me that I don't have any CHOICE but to get a new guy ramped up and effective yesterday.

Also: I have a pager. Soon I will be selling 24x7 operational support in a region near you. You call me, we meet in some dark alley. You will give me money, and I'll give you sketchy computer advice. For an additional fee, I'll hang around while you implement my ideas. If something untoward happens, like a good operational support professional, I'll call you a cab and pour beer all over the front of your shirt. They'll never suspect me, that's why I'm a 'professional.'

Not kidding about the pager thing. I have one. I'm still 'configuring' it. How hard is it to configure a pager? You'd think it'd be just, turn it on and let the shit buzz when its due. That is highly naive of you. Highly naive. I have to do stuff like make database entries and wait for database replication and make updates to configuration files for programs that I DON'T UNDERSTAND. But still I carry on. Hurrah, hurrah.

I will be in town for the ENTIRE WEEK of Turkey-dom. This is gonna be weird. I imagine I will get the shakes on thursday or friday, curl up into a ball and just start rocking as I say, "I need some plane man, I need some plane bad. Any plane will do. I'll take a Cesna. An airbus even. And I hate the comedown on airbusses. You just feel like ass the next morning." Ahh, nothing better then making pointed jokes about drugs AND mocking the French.

ITS A GREAT GANG THAT GOES BLACKHAWK-GO!
(I swear, I wasn't a bad scout.)
- posted by Pat @ 5:53 PM