Weekend of the Fourth, just the numbers:

Bar-b-ques attended: 3

Non-Bar-b-ques attended: 2

Bars attended: 2

Number of hipsters mocked: a large drunken number. Seriously, Paul, sorry man. Shit got out of hand.

Number of hipsters almost mauled in a bar: 1 <- this guy was a douche bag and I don't have to apologize to Paul for it because it was before I went to his party. And made fun of all his hipster party-goers.

Number of hipsters I talked to for 45 minutes about the new White Strips Album because she was good looking and had big boobs: 1 I have NO IDEA what I was saying. Just, really, boobs.


I am still debating if the boobs were worth it.

That conversation sucked. Its a good album, but its ONE FUCKING DISC. It sounds a lot like their other albums. BLEARGH.

Number of times Pat got retarded and let a drunken hipster cut his hair: 1 Thanks for the bald spot, drunky. Dammit, she SAID she did it in college for beer. I guess not AFTER beer. And pot. And copious amounts of being a hipster.

Number of hosts pissed at me for showing up to their parties late: 5 heh, I need to work on my punctuality.

Number of times I got shot down this weekend of the fourth: 6 yes folks, 6. All six were unique and special in their own way. From frosty converstation, to running away while they think I'm not looking. I do bring out a wide range of emotions and reactions in people.

And in celebration of my spectacular weekend, I'm leaving the state! I'm taking a roadtrip up to Minneapolis for Underwater Hockey Nationals. I've got a real good feeling about this year. Hopefully we'll win a game! I kid, we usually do okay. But hey, I don't feel like I suck this year, so that can only be good, right?

I'll be back in Chicago on Monday and probably not back online until Tuesaday at work. Until then, gentle reader, enjoy the sports hate. I truly believe that hate can be enjoyed by all.
- posted by Pat @ 4:52 PM