How to freak yourself out:

Step One: drink heavily the night before. This is the most fun.

Step Two: cultivate a hangover for the day of the event. This part is fun while happening. Not as much fun after a succesful harvest.

Step Three: eat nothing but crap so your breath stinks and your tongue has salt burn. Again, fun and tasty while cultivating, but poor when you win.

Step Four: grab a red style of Gatorade. See, its for the hangover. And, its red.

Step Five: brush your teeth. Now, while the brushing is ongoing, you must forget that you have just had a bunch of red beverage.

Step Six: spit.

Now, at this point, you should have a muddled head from the booze, a salt burned tongue from the food and you have just spit up a bunch of pinkish-red foam. First throught I had: the fuck? Second: how did I bleed that much and not taste it?

It took me a solid ten seconds to realize what had happened. It was awesome. I am so awake now.

Ugh. Off to hockey.
- posted by Pat @ 3:51 PM