The weekend where I won...

This is longer than a "typical" weekend post as I left Tucson thursday morning for an employee conference. However, the conference was classic, so I feel the need to include it.

Thursday, 5 am PST(I'm in Tucson):
Pete(roommate) wakes me up by repeatedly booting me in the ribs. I am still very drunk from the night before.

Thursday, 4.05 pm CST(in Oakbrook, at the conference):
Adam, Pete and I arrive. The first meeting started at 4 pm. We appear to be late. In hindsight, I wish I had been two days late. And dead.

There were ice breakers... and 'team building exercises'. So, I understand the ice breakers. We're travelling consultants, most of us new. We have NO idea who the other people are. We don't work together. So why did I PISS AWAY 35 minutes of my life building a tower out of Tinker Toys for the purpose of team building? I have no idea. I am not going to see these people for AT LEAST another year, if ever. And I feel cheated.

Then food, and MASSIVE amounts of booze. And then a talent show. I spent the majority of my time here drinking coffee, downing beers and remoting into work because I had shit to do. I also found out here, and later in the amazing games, that I hate most of the people I work with. Especially the people I am supposed to be emulating. Just, fuck, if I end up like those bastards, shoot me.

Friday, 9.15 am CST(Still in Oakbrook):
Pete calls my cell, informs me I have missed the first hour and 15 minutes of the meetings for the day. There was a status meeting on the state of the company. Fine, expected. Then the company 'olympics'. Except the majority of people at my firm are, uh, slightly out of olympic shape, so the events had to be as non-athletic as possible. This does not make for fun. It makes for terrible boredom, hatred and irony. See, we had a big talk on ethics THAT MORNING. The most common activity during the games? Cheating.

I hate my job.

Friday, 9.45 pm(In Crestwood, IL):
SpiderMan 2 started. I went alone. It was a good movie.

Saturday, 5 pm(In bed):
Without Peter to awaken me somehow, I am useless. I have just woken up. Nothing useful happens today. Except Dan and Doug doing very good Jehova witness impersonations. Damned fanatics.

Sunday, 12 pm(In bed):
I awaken early and remote back into work. This goes on for a bit. I then go do yardwork. While trimming the hedges I:
-cut my thumb
-punctured both wrists
-fell off a curb and raked hell out of my shin
-almost severed my left leg. My shorts are now lopsided

After the hedges, I mowed the lawn. I'm not particularly awake anymore as hedge trimming is tiring. So, when the catcher fell off of my lawnmower, I didn't see it. I then tripped over it and tumbled forward while pushing the lawnmower on the correct path. I imagine it would have been a marvelous, and hilarious, thing to have seen. I only remember pain and confusion. Shame, really. However, at this point, I realized the world hates me and I, covered in grass clippings, bleeding, tired, pissed off because I left my fucking phone charger in Tucson and couldn't call a girl on Saturday, threw my arms up and yelled, "I'm the big winner!"

I shit you not.

After finishing the lawn, I went back to work for an hour or so, took a shower and went to Daniel's house for anime watching. Panda-Z is the shit and Samurai Champloo is the hip-hop samurai genre at its finest. I don't know if there are other ANYTHINGS in that genre, but its good.

Have I mentioned lately how I am easily the most lucky person ever? And because of this:

I'm the big winner!
- posted by Pat @ 4:52 PM