A weekend of (no)love. And a proposal.

But first, semantics: From now on, Daniel is Dan(not on this blog) and Dan is from this blog.

Friday night I hit the bars with Dan and Daniel. I tried calling that girl who gave me her cell number. Quick note: this is the weekend of (no)love so take a quick think if this was an effective use of my life or not.

I will tell you: waste of my life.

Thanks for the fake phone number Joan. I truly appreciate it.

Best is, I called her numerous times, and it sounded like an actual voice mail, not the urban-legend fake phone number that insults you if you call if. Or something. The myth was explained to be after several pints.

We ended up at Brewbaker's as that is the only bar open past 2 am on Western. We walked in and there were two women between me and the cash machine. I somewhat rudely skooched them out of the way. They were then marginally attracted to me. After that, I made a number of drunken comments about lord knows what and walked away while they were speaking. They followed us about 15 minutes later. One girl said 'hi' to me by walking up behind me at the bar and not so casually rubbing herself all over me. Enjoyable, but somewhat useless when I'm already mostly numb from the booze. We attempted to dance. It was ineffective. All I can actually remember from trying to dance was thinking, "why do I feel so stereotypical tonight?" I ran away again. When I returned I found out that the other girl was married and that the two girls were going home for girl-on-girl action no matter what happened. And no, no one else was going to be invited.

So to the two random fake whore types from Brewbakers, thanks for the woody and the large ball of anger I feel for the teasing.

Saturday night was some kind of weird half trip through the friend zone. We definetly played the 'we're a couple' game at points. This is somewhat difficult to avoid when the other people you are hanging with are married and also at points were definetly not a couple. So a somewhat odd, but enjoyable, evening. However, it was a night spent primarily with one attractive female, and there was no love.

And about a month ago I was on a dating website and emailed some girl. She did not sign back into the service for over a fucking month. I just felt the need to put that in there. It'll make sense in a minute.

So, obviously, my rage is at a bit of a high, and I need help from you, dear reader. What silly ass stunts should I try pulling now to attempt and get a girl? Dan, Daniel or Patrick willing, we can get this shit taped. I'll wear a mic and do what is asked of me. This is incredibly humiliating and amazing and if it works, the Greatest Idea Ever.

So shoot the ideas into the comments, or email one of us and lets get this party started.
- posted by Pat @ 9:48 AM