Life rolls on.

I am, again, in a rut. This town is super boring. And its not that comfortable boring that comes from being very familar with someplace. I'm comfortably bored often in Chicago. As much fun as it is to go to Rhino's, the coffeeshop and the other three places I go to regularly, they aren't interesting or new anymore. They're boring. I know exactly what's gonna happen, and I enjoy it. That's the boring of enjoying someplace for a long time. Its still good, but its like that movie your dumb ass friend can recite all of. "The Princess Bride" is possibly the worst/best example of this. Good movie. Fun to watch. I've seen it thirty thousand times. I don't need to see it again. Or have it quoted at me. Again.

Tucson is more like, oh, say, "Speed". It's kinda interesting at first. Lots of explosions, lots of new, different things. But halfway through it, you're going, "the fuck? Did I hit rewind and not know it?" I feel like that every goddamnedday. The days don't just bleed into each other. They are each other. I am consistently surprised every day when I find out what day of the week it is. Not because I'm working so hard I lose track of time, but more, I have to disengage my brain for so long each day to avoid going crazy I have no real concept of time anymore.

But each day rolls on into the next. Or sometimes through the next and I carry on. I tried to fight this boredom with beer, but that has lost its luster. I'm hoping to fight it now with working out and getting in shape again, but, that just gives me more energy so I believe this plan is also doomed to fail.

The best part of this is that I have plenty of free time to think about where I would rather be and how I can get there. Its pretty rad when you sit and think for a half hour, realize you don't know where you want to go nor do you care. I used to want the life of the drifter. Slipping from one job, one life to the next. I didn't realize how boring this shit is. And while I haven't actually started full on drifting yet, I can see it coming and I've had better ideas in the past about what the future should hold.

Methinks my current life strategy of, "fall backassward and enjoy the ride" may be a large part of the problem here. Stupid life not coming together by being lazy.
- posted by Pat @ 6:47 PM