I've found the solution to my food problems: The sammich. It has two pieces of bread, some lettuce, tomato, cheese and various lunchmeats. Maybe some mustard and mayo if you're feeling it. This is a meal that is IMPOSSIBLE to fuck up. I had a sammich and french fries last night. I have found it is not impossible to fuck up french fries. But, as Fishman has taught me, enough ketchup fixes anything. Even if it is crappy, unsalted ketchup. It is still the golden condiment.

Now, some of you may be wondering, "why do I call it a 'sammich' like a 'tard, instead of a 'sandwich' like the well educated person I sometimes allow myself to be known as"? Well, when I finally realized I could get a good one here, I didn't have time, or the ability to speak properly as my mouth was full, so I roared, well, more 'sprayed' then anything, "SAMMICH!!" and helf it aloft. Sadly, this caused a tomato to fall out and land on my head, but hey, you pay for your dramatics. And yes, this also a tribute to the non-late, great KarakSindru. Thanks Karak.

Karak is not only not on this blog, I don't even know what his name is. I love interenet friends I know only by their handles.

And now back to wishing my AIM connection would do something other than reset every 20 seconds and wondering if I can talk the boys upstairs who do the catering into making me a sammich that has stuff like crust and not have stuff like chicken "spread".
- posted by Pat @ 12:19 AM