I have seen the future: There is a man who will fold himself up and place himself into a washing machine for change. Or some kind of money. I was watching the Ken Harvey Variety show and I sure did see that. I'm somewhat tramutized. Its a good thing, really.

Rock solid plan for picking up women:
Step One: go to a bar by yourself, chicks dig the lone wolf
Step Two: look really scruffy at said bar, chicks don't dig personal hygiene
Step Three: don't make eye contact, its better for everyone involved if you only catch sidelong glances where you're not really sure if what you're looking at is good looking or it isn't. The Beer you've been drinking should also help with this.
Step Four: don't help mantain the conversation, women don't care what men have to say unless its some bullshit about feelings we don't actually have. Then we're being sensitive. And lame.
Step Five: make sure said girls are drunk. I can not tell you how useful that is. And don't go about buying them drinks either, just occasionally wave the bartender over, or make comments about how they can't handle their booze.
Step Six: don't get up to dance with them until both of the girls are rubbing themselves all over you, chicks dig it when you play hard to get.
Step Seven: don't dance to back to back songs, chicks want you looking at them while they dance, they don't give a fuck if you can or not
Step Eight: don't be suprised when you go to bathroom if they disappear. I mean really, if you're following this guide you're doing exactly what I did last night and the two girls totally fucking bounced on me while I was peeing.

Heh, what the fuck are you doing trying to get advice on women from me? Are you retarded? I mean yeah, I did have two somewhat attractive girls rubbing on me last night, but I'm just massively sexy. That's the real step, Be Sexy and Have lots of Cash. Those are what chicks dig.

I fucking hate my life.
- posted by Pat @ 7:31 PM